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Monday, August 29, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Commute to work
After reading the title, if you read "Soccer Moms", I guess I wouldn't have to say anything further.
In any case for those who need more explanation here goes. My(our??) commute to work during school days takes twice as much time as it takes during non-school days. These moms in their big a** minivans cut me off every single morning. I am generally not a very violent person, but during that moment, I feel like getting out of the car with a baseball bat and smacking the sh*t out of the car. I've always wondered how many other people felt that way. I am sure atleast one person will agree me :).
[JD, I know how much you like (single)soccer moms, so please don't hold this against me.]
In any case for those who need more explanation here goes. My(our??) commute to work during school days takes twice as much time as it takes during non-school days. These moms in their big a** minivans cut me off every single morning. I am generally not a very violent person, but during that moment, I feel like getting out of the car with a baseball bat and smacking the sh*t out of the car. I've always wondered how many other people felt that way. I am sure atleast one person will agree me :).
[JD, I know how much you like (single)soccer moms, so please don't hold this against me.]
Monday, August 15, 2005
What do you want?
There are 3 main things which men want. Power, Money and Women. Only the order is different with different people. If a miracle were to happen and you were to get ONLY ONE of the 3 mentioned, which would you pick?
Remember picking one would mutually exclude the other two.
Remember picking one would mutually exclude the other two.
Friday, August 12, 2005
On the lighter side
Ok Jon, for your sake something a little funny and not depressing. (Please refrain from posting comments as they will be deleted)
Once there was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the
sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside.I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.He headed down the hall, dragging the squashed frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home.On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.
In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the S.O.B. who ran over my FROG."
Once there was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the
sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside.I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.He headed down the hall, dragging the squashed frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home.On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.
In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the S.O.B. who ran over my FROG."
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Veggie (W)rap
Yo Yo..
Where's my hot sauce....
There is no hot sauce in my burritto
Have you ever had the vegetarian burritto, I have
I've had stuff with no meat, all my life
Made fun of by the people at the counter, for my not eatin meat
Eating plants in the morning, taking names in the evening
But guess what?, I am gonna ignore you
I'm sorry, buddy
I never meant to hurt u fool,
I never meant to whoop your butt,
But tonight, I am gonna take you to school
One more time....
Now I would never eat meat to get recognition in your midst
I look at the meat, though it is appetizing,
I would never eat that for socializing
you know its not easy being me?
going to hooters and not eating the wings
served by the waitresses that aint got wedding rings
as difficult as it can be
I'm sorry, buddy...
I'll take you back to 99, when i came into this country
I never used to eat eggs, leave alone poultry
People Here forcing me to eat beef
It gives me grief and no relief
Dont Bother me, Leave me alone
This stuff is as painful as a bladder stone
So after all this if you are gonna make fun of these facts,
I really dont give a damn. I might treat you like floor wax!
I'm sorry, buddy...
Where's my hot sauce....
There is no hot sauce in my burritto
Have you ever had the vegetarian burritto, I have
I've had stuff with no meat, all my life
Made fun of by the people at the counter, for my not eatin meat
Eating plants in the morning, taking names in the evening
But guess what?, I am gonna ignore you
I'm sorry, buddy
I never meant to hurt u fool,
I never meant to whoop your butt,
But tonight, I am gonna take you to school
One more time....
Now I would never eat meat to get recognition in your midst
I look at the meat, though it is appetizing,
I would never eat that for socializing
you know its not easy being me?
going to hooters and not eating the wings
served by the waitresses that aint got wedding rings
as difficult as it can be
I'm sorry, buddy...
I'll take you back to 99, when i came into this country
I never used to eat eggs, leave alone poultry
People Here forcing me to eat beef
It gives me grief and no relief
Dont Bother me, Leave me alone
This stuff is as painful as a bladder stone
So after all this if you are gonna make fun of these facts,
I really dont give a damn. I might treat you like floor wax!
I'm sorry, buddy...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Same shit, just another day
OK people. Time to be honest. When you get out of bed in the morning, how many times have you felt (or still feel) "today is gonna be nothing special, its gonna be boring like any another day". There are times when I wish something exciting would happen that day. But so far nothing's happened. Like this other day, I expected somebody to come to my cube and say "Dude, you are the best, here take 1000 dollars", but NO!!! nothing happened. This is very frustrating.
